Saturday 31 May 2014

Heartache?? Lets heel it!

It’s for the special ones suffering with the most coveted fever- Love! [Actually, to be more precise, the scene after the heart attack (breakup!)]
I once believed, Love is simply a happiness with blend of emotions like, forgiveness, candidness, anger, jealousy, feeling of hatred, at times like a habit, an infatuation, an expectation figure, et al. But all these beautiful and jelly-coated adjectives turn sour when you are been dumped and he asks you to move on!
As love is more being just a kid. It has to be looked upon as a mature gift by God and those who play with it like a kid, usually end in breaking it up!
While observing kith n kin and some hidden acquaintances, (Sshh...) I have realized that there are actually 2 phases, when you are trying hard to come/cope up from a relation (rather been pushed out!).
The first one commences when you start saying things like, ‘It’s too much now, I think I should move on now’, I’ll forget about him & would no longer think of him or call him’…But naah, here comes the innocent gaffe and you end up calling (or message!) him/her (wherever you fit in!) at some odd hour of the day and thus fail to stay erect in your commitment! You then think that, No I really can't live without him, I can’t move on, I want him back…Things like that! You start feeling suffocated, lonely and mournful. You feel as if it was yesterday only when he had opened his heart in front of you or had caressed you in the most adorable fashion you had ever wished for…You curse the moment when he ditched you or walked past you. At that moment of time, you look for some shoulder to grieve upon and a listener who could listen about him (without any cost-free advice!), even if it’s in the wee hours of morning! But all this happens, when just few months have passed off (after ‘partition!’).
Now comes the second phase. And it means that the time has grown more. In this phase you get to realize, that now it’s time to get mature, think wisely and look for a pragmatic approach. We start thinking about the real ‘Happiness’ of our lover (to be precise, ex-lover!). We start believing that even if we are apart, still our lover is happy. And that is the thing which should matter the most! (Puppy love been modified to mature love! I know, I know!)
As you grow and enter the phase two, you start realizing two things. One being his ‘Happiness’ (already been discussed) and the other being ‘Sacrifice’ (on your part!). You realize that you have got to sacrifice your inner feelings, your irresistible desires and alluring wishes for 'his' happiness…
As you now know, ... He is genuinely happy without you...


He has moved along, even if you have stayed behind…!

Wednesday 5 March 2014

Barbarism in the name of culture!

A child, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife and above all a Mother! So many names with so much of responsibilities and so much of sacrifice; yet, she is deprived of her sole desire-Freedom…

The soul acting as the backbone of the nation is shockingly, being crushed each and every day! And knowingly or unknowingly, we ignore it!

In this segment I’ll try to bring forward one of the paralyzing issue of our society: "Child Marriage", through a shocking story of an 8 year old, which was not even a teenage girl, yet was turned, to a woman and in the most brutal way!
A tribal girl of the north-western Yemen area (near Saudi border) named 'Ravan' was forced to marry a man 5 times her age. Naive 8 year old, didn't know that she was going to see her parents for the last time on her wedding. On her wedding night, her 40 years old husband asked for his conjugal rights. Being young and totally unaware of the process, her under-developed body suffered deep injuries that led to tear in her genitals which ultimately and most obviously led to her death!

Shocking? Indeed it is. But to many, it is not! As child marriage is not Illegal in Yemen, and so, it is just another case of just another girl in Yemen.

Tribal leaders of the town denied to any such mishap, though Yemen and Kuwait activists called for the police to arrest the girls’ husband and family. European Union foreign policy chief, Lady Ashton remarked, “The case should be investigated without delay and all those responsible for this crime, should be prosecuted”. But is this the only justifiable solution?

Let us have a glance on some of the statistics behind:-
Ø  The Legal age for marriage is 15 years in Yemen.
Ø  According to Human Rights Watch (HRW), in Yemen nearly 52% are married before age of 18 and 14% before the age of 15 years.
Ø  HRW urged Yemen in December 2011 to ban marriages of girl under 18 as it deprives her from education as well as face health difficulties.
Ø  Report also says that, child brides-to-be are kept from school when they reach puberty.
Ø  According to International Center for Research on Women, girls below age 15 are 5 times more likely to die while giving birth than the ones in 20s.
Ø  And most importantly, under HRW norms every person regardless of their age must give their consent before marriage.

The Causes that lead to early girl marriage are more shocking. The most common answer which activists get to hear most frequently, is:  “It is the customs we follow”!
Now do we really call ourselves modern with such a hypocritical and superstitious belief?

Reports suggest that many poor families in Yemen force their daughters’ to marry or sell them so that, they could be saved from the costs of bringing her up, in addition to the extra money they get in the form of dowry from boy’s family. That is the reason when crops fail and families become poor, the rate of child marriages also tend to go up.

While some reports also reveal that the parents believe that their daughter’s circumstances’ would improve and she would be protected from the risk of rape.
But does the barbarism her body faces, after getting married, is less than being raped?

As their bodies’ remain under-developed, neither does their body support the process nor is able to bear the pain, while giving birth; which ultimately leads to death of the girl.

The most obvious and devastating truth of Early Pregnancy is one of the leading causes of deaths worldwide for girls aged between 15 to 19 years.

Besides this, they suffer high risk of contracting HIV.  Due to getting married young, girls often face domestic violence, just because they have no say. Few are even deprived of 2 meals a day!
Now here, I want to ask their parents, what improved circumstances do they talk about?!

“Nobody was interested in my complaints, as I was legally a wife!” this is the torture a girl has to face, if she dares to protest.

And this is increasing in nations having dense population. According to UN Population Fund, higher rate of child marriages are in Sub-Saharan Africa. India known as the 'capital' of child marriage, holds a share of 40% of 60 million child marriage!

But the Ravan incident has sent shocking waves around the globe and more of awareness is spreading across. Reports reveal that many young wives have come forward for filing their divorce cases. There are also alarming calls on raising the legal age of marriage to 18.

Change is the new word. And I hope, that this Change is not just on papers... but, also show its move in the mind and culture of people!